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Consent & Boundaries
In this Workshop, you will discover your own boundaries and learn to tap into the power of your own words to ask for what you want and need.
Consent is a voluntary, and clear agreement between all the participants to engage in specific sexual activity.
If clear, voluntary, coherent, and ongoing consent is not given by all participants, it's not consent. There’s no room for ambiguity or assumptions when it comes to consent, and there aren’t different rules for people who’ve hooked up before.
It’s crucial to ask for consent before engaging in sexual activity. Talking openly about what you both want and setting boundaries is important in any relationship, regardless of whether it’s casual or long-term.
Consent is an agreement or permission expressed through affirmative, voluntary words or actions that are mutually understandable to all parties involved, to engage in a specific sexual act at a specific time:
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Consent can be withdrawn at any time.
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Consent cannot be coerced or compelled by force, threat, deception, or intimidation.
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Consent cannot be given by someone who is incapacitated.
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Consent cannot be assumed based on silence, the absence of “no” or “stop,” the existence of a prior or current relationship, or prior sexual activity.
What consent looks like:
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Communicating every step of the way. For example, ask if it’s okay to take your partner’s shirt off. Don’t just assume that they are comfortable with it.
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Respecting that when they don’t say “no,” it doesn’t mean “yes.” Consent is a clear and enthusiastic yes! If someone seems unsure, stays silent, doesn’t respond, or says “Maybe…” then they aren’t saying “yes.”
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Breaking away from gender “rules.” Women are not the only ones who might want to take it slow. Also, it’s not a guy’s job to guess or assume your boundaries if you don't communicate them.
The Wheel of Consent is a practice of taking and receiving, giving and allowing. The Wheel is a model from sexologist and intimacy coach Betty Martin. It breaks down the action into who is doing it and who it's for - and in doing so a lot of hidden dynamics are revealed.
The Wheel of Consent can be seen as a whole, with two halves, and four quadrants. The Wheel separates out who is doing the touch and who the touch is for. So there is a half for who is doing and who is being done to, and a half for giving (it's for them) and a half for receiving (it's for you).
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Giving/serving - You're doing something for someone to provide them with pleasure
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Accepting/receiving - You accept something from someone to get pleasure yourself
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Taking - You're doing something to someone to get pleasure yourself
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Allowing - You allow someone to do something to you for their pleasure.
In this workshop you will learn:
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To tap into the power of your own words to ask for what you want.
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To improve your confidence and strengthen your communication skills.
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To deal with rejection and receive with respect a no.
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To experiment with touch in a safe environment.
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To find out what dynamics of giving, receiving, taking and allowing are currently dominant for you.
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To relax, trust and allow, as much as taking.
